i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
