I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
