awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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