So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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