Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
