I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
