If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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