I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
