drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
