Small penises have feelings too.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
