For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
