do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
