That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
