about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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