Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
