My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
