so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize