she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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