found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
