What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
