Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
worst night to have a conscience
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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