My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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