Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
