Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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