the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
