we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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