dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
