if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
