dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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