the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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