cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize