When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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