god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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