the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
bring money and cleavage
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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