Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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