my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
