we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize