Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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