He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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