The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
