if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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