don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
