tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
