yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
