omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
