I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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