I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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