you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
worst night to have a conscience
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
