Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
