OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
