I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize