I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
