Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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