my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is my gift to your gina
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
