Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
