I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
