Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
