Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize