Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There r osticjed everywhere
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
