my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
