so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
