Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
