we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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