you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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