I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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