I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
