so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
