RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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