sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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