i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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